Sometimes the solution to the problem is so obvious that you miss it. You can calculate, surmise, but if your head is not connected to your heart than you are out of luck.
No amount of reasoning can give you a simple answer to your craziness.
I know when those moments happen I keep looking up at the Universe wondering what is it trying to tell me in the middle of this fabulous breakdown?
And the Universe will respond in all of its grand clarity with signs. More signs. Inclinations. That perhaps maybe I did not make the wisest decisions when it came to matters of the heart.
The problem is I know I made my choices, all tied up, laid in that big bed – I hung on to words without actions, promises broken, and a lot of deceit on both side of the coin.
Out of all of this was irreparable damage and a good friendship lost.
Alan Cohen Points Out:
Beyond all the material gifts we share, the greatest gift we can offer each other is the truth of who we really are. While true love invites us to come out and stand naked in the sun, fearful “love” asks us to hide who we are for the sake of holding on to a person or relationship.
When you think about it, how valuable can a relationship be if you have to live in the dark to keep it? How much can you trust your partner if you do not believe they will have you if they knew your true thoughts and feelings? And how can you give love to another if you do not honor yourself?
I can say in all earnestness that there was no honor in this reckless love and in the end, we only struck callously against each other lacking any form of sincere apology.
So Somewhere in all of this mess I am supposed to forgive, and I write a lot about forgiveness…
This is where the fun little twist of the rope comes in as my friend graciously points out, “Darcie, you fucking hate hypocrites. Fucking hate them!”
In that magical moment the light bulb in my brain went off and Archimedes hopped out of the bathtub exclaiming “Eureka!”
I fell in love with a hypocrite that sits in the front of the church, quotes the bible, pretends to be something he is not, and lives two lives.
Let’s be clear what annoys you is a reflection of you!
So therefore, by hating his hypocrisy I am recognizing that I am a hypocrite because that means I have been keeping secrets and living two lives too.
It is by recognizing this mirror image of myself in another that I have to accept that I am no better than him which means I will forgive him because I also have to forgive myself.
If I do not then I, will not be living a life on a heart centred path thus becoming everything I hate which is a hypocrite.
Therefore, I accept we are all on our own paths, try not to be self righteous, judgemental, forgive, because in the end when we leave this world we all die naked in the full beauty of our spirit.
On that note a little Tom Petty for the weekend.