I have a deep love for music that oozes cheese and allows for me to shake my Heinie when cooking in the kitchen. So it should be no surprise that when I discovered an 80’s love song playlist that I was enraptured with its hot fudge of steamy love ballads and all things gone wrong.
My ears peaked to the sounds of Chicago, Air Supply, REO Speedwagon, Tina Turner, Cher, and of course the love my life Bruce Springsteen.
Did I mention that I love Bruce Springsteen?
My two teenage boys however have not been enjoying these sounds and wondered what fresh hell had descended upon them when they entered the kitchen.
My youngest, “Mom this isn’t even your decade.”
“I know. I still like it.”
“Maybe move it up one more decade. This music is embarrassing.”
His deliverance was blunt and swift but at the same time a little complimenting. In little effort he had a swift critique:
- My music taste was terrible
- Yet, wise enough to speak to my vanity
- Change your playlist
In life Music critique is a simple choice it is just a conversation on good taste. However, not all conversations or critiques are ever that kind or straight forward.
Some conversations can be unsavory and hurtful. It is important when your ears are perked to have to be very careful about what the value of the information is, the source, and their inevitable gains from sharing it.
It is a form of manipulation and control from the person that is spreading the information they are in fact attempting to control a person, group, by attempting to create the desired outcome that would be beneficial to themselves.
Control is forcing events and people into your way of doing things. Control is the great mask of insecurity. People who use this behaviour are deathly afraid of letting others be who they are so the controller is constantly making demands that keep others off balance. The underlying idea is “If the keep paying attention to me, they won’t run away.”
We should always be mindful of what we hear, who is telling it, and what is their main objective about sharing this individual’s or group’s story. Are they telling it to uplift you? Or Manipulate you? And at the end of the day does the story matter?
- Is it true?
- Is it Kind?
- Is it Valuable?
If we can’t speak with truth and kindness then we have to look within ourselves to see what the gain or outcome was for one person’s own self interest. I recognize my sons ears bleed when I play eighties music but that doesn’t mean I will give it up.
I know have good music taste. End of conversation.
In the meantime Bruce I am single and ready to mingle. I am just waiting for your call. I can be your Jersey girl. Call me babe. I am waiting for your dance moves. xo.
Deepak Chopra, The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life.