As a yoga instructor I attempt to be mindful of my breath and attempt not to stick the middle finger up at the guy that cut me off in traffic. However, when it comes to the really big things like when someone breaks their word or crosses someone close to me – well hell hath no fury than a yogi who will pretzel you up and leave you in you in the dark to figure out how to get out of the damn pose.
If I were to be an example of a benign spiritual being than I believe the end of the world would fall upon us because if I can’t get the last word in over another self righteous ass than I don’t know what to tell you.
However, I also know the inability to forgive another person is a big heaping serving of poison that eats away at us causing bitterness and resentment.
It is known within our hearts that forgiveness is the right thing to do even if we just want to give that special someone the stink eye and strong piece of our mind. Or, perhaps, fantasize about them getting stung in the arse by a jelly fish and then having someone have to urinate on them to alleviate the pain.
I digress I have been watching a lot of Friends over the winter season…
CS Lewis points out:
Real forgiveness means looking steadily at the sin, the sin is leftover without any excuse, after all allowances have been made, and seeing it in all its horror, dirt, meanness, and malice, and nevertheless being wholly reconciled to the man who had done it. That, and only that, is forgiveness, and we can always have from God if we ask for it.
Afterall we are all infallible human beings and none of our halos shine brighter than the gentleman sitting in the front pew. So at some point someone has harmed you and you will in your own obstinateness will probably harm another being. If we can’t forgive the actions of that one buffoon than how are we ever going to be forgiven for our own buffoonery in the eyes of God.
CS Lewis also states:
To be Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.
If we continually make excuses for the ones that have harmed or done us wrong than it means that we are justifying what they have done is right and that there was never any fault in their actions. However, if we accept the pain or fury of their actions we can heal by releasing our own anger and bitterness which holds us back in our own lives.
As on no uncertain terms we learn to begrudgingly forgive, let the last word maybe slide, reconcile our differences, and move onward. Perhaps, there is a time and place for martyrdom but it is not in our daily lives or in our bedrooms. If so, than we all die in a bitter old waspish sadness with grudgeful fantasies of a special someone getting stung in the butt by a jellyfish.
I don’t know about you but if I am going to be 90 years old in my rocking chair staring off at the ocean. I think I would prefer the better fantasies of a strapping strong Adonis ripping his shirt off and having his way with me. It is better to die happy than crochety.
CS Lewis, “The Weight of Glory.” p 177-184.