Sometimes no amount of yoga, energy clearings, breathwork, or meditation can keep you from experiencing emotional turmoil while struggling through the midst of an unfriendly divorce.
I know no matter how high I rise above it, turn the other cheek, and try to be the better person – all it takes is for him to use the right set of words with malicious untruths that my serpent tongue appears and striking with no mercy.
The words are cruel, merciless, and cannot be taken back once spoken.
It is from this maliciousness that I am not doing any favours for myself or my family as it means I am not finding grace, healing, or forgiving. The selfish part of me believes it is sometimes easier to live in a place of anger instead of living with an open vulnerable heart only to have it crushed into a million pieces, again.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi
The greatest struggle for me as a yoga practioner and teacher is seeking that peace and overcoming the barriers from within my own heart. It is the overwhelming emotions that rise with heart opening practices and deep backbends.
Wheel pose is known to open our hearts and a gateway to clearing our chakra system.
Every time I breathe my way into this position in my sequence I press my hands back behind my head, plant my feet firmly into the ground, raise my hips, lifting high up that I begin to feel the crushing weight on my heart, as I use my sheer will to press into wheel’s fullest expression.
It is that tender moment that everything connects that I allow myself to be vulnerable and softens my heart which gives me the freedom in knowing that I can live an expressive life that brings joy and sometimes heartache.
We will be cheated, we will lose loved ones, friends once friends gone, but that does not mean that we do not raise our heads and hearts for a love that might be greater for us. We need to take those risks whether we face rejection or ecstasy. Perhaps, than we will know what a true life is worth knowing with our hearts wide open accepting grace as we find it within to forgive.
Judith Anodea’s, “Chakra Yoga”, 2016.